Why Is Nick Robertson’s Face Dripping?

First we’ll tell you how the French-American War Part Two was almost started in Malaysia. Then you’ll learn why “white tailed” animals aren’t as friendly as they sound. You want real-world travel stories? You got it.

Before we start: Have you heard about Snapappen? It’s a kick-ass event that recognizes and features the best snapchatters, and it’s happening in just a few days in London. Even if you can’t go (we can’t), you’ll want to keep up with the fun, activities, and awards at Snaphappen.com. It looks like a great lineup!

Getting through immigration/passport control is a necessary evil of travel. But passport control at the Kuala Lumpur airport is a special breed of evil of the unnecessary kind. Disaffected agents. Inadequate staffing. An inability to forecast needs from dozens of planes soon to arrive. Couple that with their half-assed usage of metal posts and nylon strips to funnel the crowd and you’re in for a long, frustrating experience that almost makes you want to burn your passport in protest. But that won’t help, because you’d be stuck in the worst immigration area on the planet. Forever.

Left to our own devices, humans will impose a messy, organic layer of organization on top of chaos, making what should be a straight and ordered line into strange mobius strips or FSM inspired large-scale artwork. Ants, we are not. Evo’s really not for order, but he is one for trying to impose his will on an already confused system. Skewed sense of justice, anyone?

And when you throw a belligerent French person in the mix, his odd sense of justice gets super-charged. Not that he has anything against French people in general. Just this one french person who embodied all aspects of an over privileged white person who’s forgotten that her country’s colonial era is mostly over. She certainly didn’t expect running into an asshole American not concerned with making a scene in the middle of immigration. Good news: He didn’t get arrested. Surprising news: It seems we’ve already met our new neighbor?

Responsibility is a bitch. If that story doesn’t make that ring home, take the case of Snapchat comedian Nick Robertson. Like many, Nick ran away from responsibility in his early 20s, spending three months traveling SE Asia. When he surprisingly didn’t die or lose an appendage doing what young, risk-taking backpackers do in the jungle, he thought he’d spend a year in Australia, a country well known to act downright hostile toward humans. What’s the worst that could happen to a young Brit in Melbourne? You’ll have to ask his face about that.

Did we mention that our friends at TravelSmith stepped up and sponsored us for an entire year? They are a perfect fit for us, and we wear their clothes and use their gear every single day. If you haven’t yet checked them out, do so. TravelSmith.com has what you need for any travel, near or far.

Speaking of keeping the show going: The money we get from our patrons every month is a huge help! We’ve just filled out the postcards from Khao Lak, but we discovered we have lots of extras! So if you sign up to get a postcard from us this month right now, we’ll send you a bonus card. Do it today, please?

Music for our show is graciously provided by the fantastic band Velella Velella. They make killer tunes, and you should buy all of their stuff. It’s fabulous!

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This One Time (The Podcast) features retellings and recreations of the best (or worst depending on perspective) travel stories encountered in a life lived abroad. Stay subscribed on iTunes or whatever else you use to listen to podcasts and you’ll never miss an episode.