Best Taxi in Thailand: A Police Truck!

Next time you're lost in Thailand, take a ride in the back of a police truck. Oddly enough, they make excellent guides!

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Full Show Script

  • [top secret]

  • Evo: If you're following our blog, you've probably read the account of our ride in the back of a cop truck on my birthday. Never a dull moment with us, right?

  • She: And chances are, you thought Evo was adding a few embellishments to the tale. Well... not this time. He really couldn't, because we recorded the whole thing.

  • Evo: And we're sharing that recording with you today. No, this isn't us just narrating the blog post. This is the live event as it unfolded, annotated for clarity. This should kick the whole "living vicariously through us" experience up a notch.

  • She: Let me set the stage: We'd been in Thailand for about a week or so and on a whim decided to take a two-day trip to a little island off the coast before the rainy season truly kicked in. Somehow, after missing our ferry ride, we wound up in the back of a police truck. Confused? So were we...

  • [Act 1]

  • She: She's not a cop. But it does seem like she has a way to get us to the island.

  • Evo: So now I've just handed over 500 baht and am waiting for change. 400 baht is about $13 bucks U.S.. In theory, I'm going to get 100 baht in change and two tickets to a ferry. A ferry that, we were told just 15 minutes ago, had already departed. And now, we're told it won't leave for another 15 minutes.

  • She: To top it off, we weren't sure what shape the transport to the dock would take. Water taxi? Bus wagon? A deathwish ride on a motor scooter? None of the above, as it turns out. Here's what happened after we got our tickets:

  • She: Yep, back in the back of the same police truck. There must not be a lot of crime in Ranong, if the cops are busy acting as free shuttles to wandering foreigners on their way to Koh Phayam.

  • [Act 2]

  • Evo: By now, things were getting a little surreal. Not only for us, but for the people of Ranong. Ranong, Thailand doesn't see all that many tourists outside of the occasional glimpse of those here for live-aboard dive tours. And all of them have been gone since April.

  • She: With the exception of a handful of people here teaching English, there aren't many expats calling Ranong home especially during the rainy season. So this reaction wasn't really a surprise.

  • [Act 3]

  • Evo: And as you can hear... we made it. But before we got on the ferry, we needed to thank our official escorts.

  • Evo: Kop khan, if you haven't figured it out, means "Thank you". Being male, I add "kep" to the end of my sentences. Sheila adds -- or should be adding -- the word "kaa" to hers. In Thai, words don't have gender, you do, and you temper your sentences with one of those two modifiers. We're not perfect at it, but we're getting better.

  • She: We're getting better, kep

  • Evo: Don't start

  • She: Meanwhile, back on the ferry, something struck us as... odd.

  • [life vests]

  • Evo: Those very helpful cops -- Royal Thai Police, as it turns out -- the ones that had just given us a ride in the back of their truck, were quite safety-minded. They handed out life jackets to everyone on the ferry. And this isn't some little boat. There were probably 30 people on this double-decker ship, and they made sure each of us took a vest, and strapped it on. Safety first, I guess?

  • [recovery]

  • She: Luckily, we didn't get a chance to test Evo's theory. We made it to the island just fine, without having to use our safety device.

  • Evo: And more importantly, we had a great early Thailand adventure story to tell. We're here for three more months, so we should be able to gather many many more. If we're not thrown in jail. Or die.

  • She: Coming up, scenes of flirting with death from next week's show, but first...

  • Evo: Thanks to everyone who's been playing along with our #ShEvo games. We're not producing the type of podcast that gets heavy interaction from our listeners, so we appreciate those who made the effort. This week, we're mixing it up a bit, though if you want to keep Tweeting or Instagramming with the #ShEvo hashtag, I won't stop you. But this week, what we'd really like is for you to send this episode to one person (at least one) in your life who'd appreciate it. Maybe you did some stupid delinquent stuff together as kids and had your own cop scare. Or maybe you know a cop who'd think it was funny. Maybe you did some time together and promised each another that no matter what you had to do, you'd...

  • She: A-HEM!

  • Evo: Sorry. Anyhow, share this episode. We've made it super easy. Shevo.wtf/cops.  Simple. Tweet it, email it... steal our cover art and Instagram it or repin it from Pinterest. Whatever. Just send the URL Shevo.wtf/cops and it'll link directly to this show. Hopefully they think it's funny. Hopefully YOU think it's funny. Dammit. There I go second guessing myself again...

  • She: Here's a taste of our death-flirting that you'll hear on next week's show:

  • [Creature]

  • Evo: Yeah, because we're on a jungle trail tracking down an unknown creature that displays aggression when it hears sound of our jalopy of a scooter. What's the worst that could happen? Laaeo phohp gan mai, from Thailand!

  • She: We travel the world as The Opportunistic Travelers largely because of our generous listeners.

  • Evo: People all over the world pledge as little as five bucks a month, and in return, they get a hand-written postcard from us sent from wherever opportunity has taken us, every single month. Sign up today at TheOpportunisticTravelers.com/postcards.

  • She: We also stay for free most of our journey. No, we’re not super-stars or anything. We eliminate hotel costs and stay in some great cities by housesitting all over the world. Get our complete list of the actual housesitting sites we use every day at TheOpportunisticTravelers.com/stayforfree, and stop spending money on hotels when you travel, too. Thanks for listening to this episode. I’m Sheila Dee.

  • Evo: And I am Evo Terra. Our theme music is "On the Ground" by Kevin MacLeod at incompetech.com. All other sounds, voices, and odd bits you hear were created by us. And this podcast is just the start of the audio, video, images, and written content we’re producing as we travel the world. Got an idea on how we could work together or a place you like for us to visit? Visit TheOpportunisticTravelers.com to get in touch. Now would be good.


New episodes of the The Opportunistic Travelers Podcast are available every Tuesday. Of course, Tuesday can be a very different thing depending on where we are in the world. Cheers!